Sometime I go on wondering--Sahir Ludhianavi

Sometime

Sometime I go on wondering:
If I had lived in the shadows of your curls,
My life would have been full of delights.
This darkness, the fate of my life,
Could have been lost in your eyes-lights.

It was not possible for me being a stranger
To lose myself in your elegance---
Your soft body, your hawk-like half-opened eyes—
And to live in a beautiful setting.

If bitterness of the world had called on me,
I would have taken from your lips a sip of sweetness.
If life had screamed to pull my head away from you,
I would have quietly lived in dark shadows of your hair.

But it could not happen.
It could not happen and now such are the things:
You are not with me, your sorrows and desires are not with me.
My life is now passing in ways
I desire no assurance from anyone.

I have been through all worries in the world,
I am walking now on roads unknown.
Dreadful shadows now surround me,
Wishing thorns—pains—to me.

Free, without a goal or a guiding light,
My life is now wandering through emptiness.
I will be lost in this emptiness one day,
I know this, my friend, but still

Sometime I go on wondering.

*****
Original in Urdu. This is my rendering. S5L3,4 may not be correct and may need revision.


Kabhi Kabhi

'kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
ke zindagi teri zulfon ki narm chaon mein
guzarne pati to SHADAB ho bhi sakti thi
ye TIRAGI jo mere ZIST ka muqaddar hai
teri nazar ki SHUAON mein kho bhi sakti thi

ajab na tha ke main BEGANA-ILM hokar
tere JAMAL ki RANAION mein kho rahta
tera GADAZ badan teri NEEM BAAZ aankhen
inheen haseen FAZAOON mein main hoh rahta

pukarteen mujhe jab TALKHIYAN zamane ki
tere labon se HALAWAT ke ghoont pe leta
HAYAT cheekhti phirti BAREHNA-SAR aur mein
GHANERI zulfon ke saaye mein chup ke jee leta

magar yeh ho na saka,
magar yeh ho na saka aur ab yeh aalam hai
ke tu nahin tera gham teri JUSTJOO bhi nahin
guzar rahi hai kuch is tarah zindagi jaise
ise kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahin

zamaane bhar ke dukhon ko laga chuka hoon gale
guzar raha hoon kuch anjani RAHGUZARON se
MUHIB SAAYE meri SIMAT bharte aate hain
HAYAT-O-MOUT ke PUR-HAUL KHAR-ZARON se

na koi JADAH na manzil na roshni ka suragh
bhatak rahi hai KHALON mein zindagi meri
inheen KHALON mein rah jaaonga kabhi kho kar
main jaanta hoon meri HUMNAFAS magar yunhi

kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai'

*****