To Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash, master of pun
To me your ‘Versus’ are lot of fun

Dear old uncle Ogden Nash
I wish I heard your poetry bash

Inventor of new words and rhymes
Your verses in my ears chime

Your “candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker,”
Bring images of drunk Randy licking a Snicker

Your women “constantly getting bedzined,”
Tell me your trials were not randomized

Your scientists “spending their lives trying to give mice nervous breakdowns”
Are no different than bored bitchy wives celebrating their husbands’ letdowns

“Well, what shall I do to day?
Shall I spend the day in hay?
Shall I cover my head with sheet,
Or go downstairs and eat?”

Today, Mr. Nash, is Saturday,
I will not get out of bed till mid-day.
My bastard of a boss is getting crazy,
His wife gives him no sex, she is lazy.